Of heroes and fire.

It's been more than a week.

Things changed a lot since then. My life turned upside down, which is something that I am not accustomed to. I went through a phase that I never expected will ever happen, but it happened anyways. Although I definitely hate that dark period of time, I'm glad things got better.

You know, I've been searching for the perfect analogy to explain to myself what really happened. But all I have now is an hourglass. It's like when a person decided to invert the hourglass and all the particles of sand in the glass raced to the other empty half and I'm one of the tiny grain of sand in it. Ya get what I'm saying? And what I see when the glass got turned, all the sand particles around me, all of them are eager to obey the gravitational law, not caring that they moving away and letting new set of particles surrounds me. And hypothetically speaking, I've never been to this new part of hourglass.

I'd like to think that the other particles around me initially as the main elements in my life. So, does it make sense? No? Don't worry, I always have difficulties explaining my points to another human being.

But anyway, my main point is, those original particles that I was attached to had gone to another place, far from me. I am in a new place, surrounded by unknown-and-sometimes-unpleasant new elements and this unfamiliarity irritates me. I'm not in my own zone, the ones whose arrangements and settings originally I'm familiar with. Maybe this is why I'm afraid and loathe changes? Maybe.

Whatever it was, I had to adjust my mindset and experiment with whatever I had with me at that time and try to live my life as near to normal as I could. But I can't be myself anymore. Not even when somehow, the hourglass was turned to its initial position and the situation now is back to how it was before; untouched.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful that it is back in its original place. But normal? Not really. One simple move, and it changed every single thing. It's impossible for me to wish for everything to be exactly like how it was. Perspective, attitude, feelings, confidentiality, impressions, receptions, priority. Everything changed.

It's a good thing you have loads of best friends and a hell of a freedom. At least you can distract yourself with their company. After all, they are your confidants, those who are willing and want your presence.

And I have my Michu. Right, Mich?

*Michu walks away*
WHAAAT? OKAY. DON'T YOU EVER COME INTO MY ROOM AGAIN -.-'
*Michu meows adorably and gives the Puss-in-Boots' stare*
Awwww, okay. Come on in.

Fuck, I'm getting crazy.

On a separate note, I regret watching The Avengers on Astro last week. At first, I was kinda curious about Black Widow's, and Hawkeye's history and how the Avengers started.  I mean, Thor's was pretty obvious with the Odin and Loki, Hulk with the radioactive stuff and given that HBO showed Captain America and Ironman a few days before that, so I sort of know at least, the basics of their background. So, I went to Wikipedia for a 'light reading'.

One of the stupidest move I've ever made in my whole life.

It's enough to say that my head is still buzzing from the conflicting incidents between what happened in the comics and what happened in the movies. That and the never-seen-before Marvel heroes name, which sometimes does not make any freaking sense at all. And the relationships between the supers which convinced me that at one point, Black Widow somehow could be in a relationship with Hulk.

Amekkau, ajaran sesat satu.

Maybe those comic enthusiasts will forever stand by their comics, but I actually love the X-men movies. What's X-Men had to do with this? Because I saw one article entitled The Avengers vs X-Men and honestly? I'm a big fan of face-offs. No joke. However, I never really read that article properly because from what I can deduce, that match continued for the span of 10 years? Who has time for that?!

Or did I mixed it up with some other war? Whatever.

And I managed to braid a strand of my fringe and clipped it! I tried to make it to look like a crown. You know, like when I parted my hair and braided after the parted line? Understand? Good. But after I braided the right section, it won't stay still like the left one. And I decided to NOT braid the stubborn right side. So I have a half-crown, maybe? Just like the Girl on Fire's crown after winning the 74th Hunger Games?

You wish, Yaya.

Haha. Well, okay. It's good to have a day off like today. Maybe this is what I need after the crazy emotional roller coaster ride I had since last week. To think about stuff, to listen to my own heart, to consider whatever option I have, to not let despair clouding my vision, to predict the possible consequences of my actions, to ask myself what I really want, to just be me for once in a while. I'll be fine, eventually. When exactly? I don't know, but I'm already on that road. Real soon, hopefully.

But now? Adan's bugging me to dry little Furball after we decided to bathe that one year old kitten. I know he's THE cat person in the family, but since I'm with the hairdryer in the house, soooo yeah. At least he didn't scrub Furball's head off, because that cat stinks, big time. Hihi.

Until then, toodles! :)