The inevitable.

I used to be an F1 fanatic. I mean, I'm crazy about McLarens, Mika Hakkinen, Kimi Raikkonen. I don't know, but I have a thing for those two Finnish drivers. I was also there during the era of Juan Pablo Montoya, Heidfield, Barrichello, Coulthard etcetra. It was awesome. But during highschool, I found nobody with the same interest and moreover, they don't let us watch the TV during the prep hours and since then, I've stopped being a religious fan and started being "just a fan".

That doesn't stop me from hating Vettel and Hamilton tho. The same kind of hatred I have for Andy Murray, Jorge Lorenzo, y'know?

When I was at home briefly to send off my little brother to the land of the All Blacks, that night, I watched this documentary about a celebrated driver who if he wouldn't have died and was given another chance with a better team and car, Michael Schumacer would not be a legend.

Ayrton Senna. From the documentary "Senna", he's a very incredible person. He stood by his action, his words. He was a very determined person, cares about safety and cares about his fellow drivers. It's the kind of person who'll make friends and at the same time, make some enemies too. After watching this, I realized two stuff.

One: Politics, politics everywhere. That bullshit of "no judging" thing, I'd like to assume that it doesn't exist. At all. People of higher ranks, judge you, side not with the person who's right, but with those who either 1) has the same origin or 2) is important and will get money or some sort of importance and profit (the bigger the sum of it, the better) out of it.

And two: I have this strange fascination about wanting to know what came across the minds of those who didn't expect to die during that moment. If you were to watch Senna's simple but fatal accident, you wouldn't expect it to be fatal. Loads of accidents before that were more horrific, but the drivers survive. I wonder, what was going through his mind the moment his car lost control. I've read this article from an archive of some website about his last 96 hours and whoa, I grew more and more fascinated. Perhaps it's a sick interest but in a way, it made me realize that death will forever be unexpected.

I mean, it could be while we're doing something that we love, or something we hate. While doing nothing, or while having everything tugging you in every direction possible. Horrificly or peacefully. Endless possibilities, definitely.

Are we ready for that moment?