Priorities.

You know, how people considers other people absence and make it as an excuse to reschedule any social event?

Like, "Hey he's not here this weekend, why don't me just go out on the next weekend?" or "She can't make it today, how about we reschedule the party to tomorrow?" and even "Dude, they can't be here this Wednesday. Let's just wait for them to reconfirm on what day they could attend this."

The thing is, they're just the normal people, normal acquaintance, with normal relationships, with a whole lot of normal people. It's ridiculous, when people wanted to wait for that one or two individuals, just for them to reschedule every fucking thing to so that they could join whatever the initial plan was. Hey, you couldn't make it, that's fine. You don't need to involve others as well. You don't need to ruin the plan, just because you couldn't make it.

What, you are the fucking Prime Minister, that I have to take your availability into the account? Heh, even if you are the freaking President, I don't give a fuck about you. I'd just do everything according to the plan.

Then again, we are talking about the people around us. The people who we interacted with everyday, who we cared about, who we are obligated to consider their presence, or their feelings, or anything at all.

But what sucks even more is, they don't fucking care about you. They don't care you couldn't make it. They don't give a damn about what you'd feel if you got to know they did. They don't give a fuck that you waited to some days, weeks, even months to have an event you've been holding up indefinitely just because some important-like-the-fucking_President-of-United-States person couldn't make it. They don't. And that's why I'm so freaking pissed off.

I firmly believe the concept of "if you don't want others to behave like shit towards you, then don't do the same to them." Funny, how I've been caring about them people around me generally, but they just couldn't be bothered. It's so funny, that I'm so fucking tired to care about the shit.

And yes, I am accessories-kind of person. I love charms on necklaces, bracelets, anklets, earrings, studs. Like these, my silvery bracelet, or my Deathly Hallows necklace. Anything, actually. As long as they are simple, minimal but gorgeous. I'm keeping my eye out for those kind of accessories, so if you found some affordable ones, do let me know yeah?

Minimal. My favorite new word to describe my style :3 Until my next rant, bye! And have nice days ahead :)

Weather (contradicting) talk.

Lying under the blazing sun; scorching hot, enough to tan the skin a shade darker than it is now, feel that skin tingling and somewhat that cooked sensation, but not hot enough to burn my feet if I were to venture barefooted on the sandy beach. That gentle breeze, enough to tap you on the shoulder and make you know that it's here, but as forceful, to blow the sunhat off people's head.

Random, but if people asked me what will be my ideal kind of weather, I'll most likely answer that.

But then again, my answer depends on what I feel or experienced recently. If UTP decided to bake all of its students alive, I ain't gonna go somewhere like that for a getaway, you know? That's just plain cuckoo.

But then again (again), perfect beach weather. Who doesn't want that eh? You know what? Scratch the above paragraph. Even if it's so flipping hot in Tronoh, I'd still yes a thousand times yes to that.

I love the weather here in UTP today. Drizzling in the morning, in the afternoon, somewhere during the evening, and hopefully, at night too, which, up until now, contributes to this lovely, cool, sweater weather. It's a nice change, really. I know, Malaysia isn't exactly like those cool climate countries all year long, but hey. A nice change.

Yes, I'd like to blame iDanialz for introducing the "Sweater Weather" song and the phrase to me. Yes, this is your fault. YES, I'm wearing my sweater now. Since four o'clock, I think. Wearing sweater, late afternoon, in UTP. Wehaay, imagine that, guys. Imagine that.

So, I'm currently taking a longer break from studying for my Probability and Statistics' second test tomorrow. I took one of those "take ten" things somewhere around three and decided to take a not-so-short-nap and then finished reviewing all the slideshows for those three chapters. After downloading the tutorials I'm planning to redo after Maghrib, here I am now. Chilling for a bit before going full speed at night.

I think I should go and buy my dinner from the cafe before it's too late. So, toodles! And let's hope this second test is going to be way better than the first :)

Pokémon trainer.

I have no idea what I'm doing here. I just have the need to write, you know? Like, the need to sit at the table, fingers ready to tap the alphabets, spelling the words one by one, and let everything flow from the mind to the screen of my laptop.

I'm currently at my home, enjoying the queen-sized bed without my sister for only two nights, and tonight is the last. Tomorrow, my daddy and I will be fetching from school. Her and my brother too. Probably we'll be going to see my another brother who's currently in Kelantan. Probably. Nothing's a concrete plan up until now.

It's one of the perks of being in my family. We are always the 'ready-to-go' type. Once, we made a super duper late minutes planning of going to Saigon. No joke. It was awesomely cool, however. I wonder if it's our family thing or just a normal thing for everybody.

The dressing table is currently free from all those idk-what-is-whose stuff that Sarah and I had been collecting since we had this table. So now, I can actually put my laptop, my Probability and Statistics notes, my two-year-old pencil case, my 7-year-old calculator on it. I can also place my toiletries, so this is so awesome. Imma hog this table and will NOT let Sarah put anything on it. Well, except her cosmetics maybe :3

Life's been good, Alhamdulillah. I'm halfway through my fourth semester, and I wasn't feeling as hopeless as I did before, thank God for that too. I'm hoping that I can still maintain this momentum until the finals, somewhere seven or six weeks more. Insya-Allah.

You know, sometimes, I feel that I better off being alone. Shying away from the sacred number of attention I've been getting, being paranoid of every help and care I got from the people around me, being the natural pessimist I naturally am, scared that I'm hurting people around be by being myself, not wanting to hurt their feelings and not surprisingly, people tells me that I'm not strong enough, not willing enough to stand for what I feel.

Funny innit? I choose my words, being the one who consider and accepts others' opinion but ended up being called "can't stand for my own self". So much for considering their feelings, eh?

I don't know how others will react to this, but people like me, don't simply forget those kinds of comment. Somehow, I'm slowly beginning to develop this weird, cold, heartless attitude. It's still pretty alien to me, but I'm beginning to open up myself more to those who are willing to be with me through thick and thin; family, friends, love, and even those sweet, friendly strangers. And at the same time, closing myself down from those types of people categorized as the so-called friends everybody knew they had. In the end, I know, I'm not better off alone, but I sure don't need those unappreciative bastards who shoot me down for fun, ignoring me when they are at their best, but will come crawling to me when their at their lowest.

And surprise, surprise! I managed to download a GBA emulator on my phone and download my faaaavorite game of all time, the Pokémon Fire Red, which surprisingly, combined and is just 16.2 MB big. You may not know, but you are currently reading a blog owned by a trainer who got a Charizard, Moltres and Articuno as part of her six Pokémon party. Just saying. However, I'm still pissed off with the fact I couldn't catch Zapdos too, or my collection of rare bird Pokémons will be complete. Haih.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll have to stop typing and stop waiting by my phone and hit the sack or I'll be a freakin zombie when Ibu will wake me up for Subuh prayers. So, good night, y'all! And until we meet again. Or until I write again, more like it. xo

Excuse my French.

I miss them. Even it had only been a week since I was saw them.

Funny. I lived (almost, I think) hundreds of miles away from them and wouldn't be as homesick as I am now, only a mere two hours away from them.

During these hard times, I just need them.

Their presence, their advice, their smile.

Reassurance, as they are always the ones who would never leave my side.

Even when I fucked things up badly.

After five years, I thought it was enough to make me a so-called independent person.

But now I realized, no matter how far I'll go, how long I'll be away,

I will always be their little girl.

And I will have no problem with that.

I miss you and I love you guys.

So effing much.

Eleventh hour.

Every time I had the chance to spend my time with him, to recapture his features in my mind, to let myself absorb every knowledge (and also his crazy antics and craps) he tells me, to feel his presence near me, I fall in love with him, again.

And again. And again. And again. However incredibly absurd that sounds like for all of you outside there, you have how I idea what I feel deep inside. It's like throwing a mouse into a barrel, full of cheese. So blissful, at least according to my twenty-years-long experience of watching cartoon.

Eleven months is a big deal for both of us, with me being a freakishly stubborn person, and him with his, well, personality :p It's not an easy feat, I can guarantee that for sure. But it had been definitely some awesome eleven months.

A new milestone we've reached and the journey so far had been great. Thank you for staying and sticking with me, through thick and thin; for always reminding me how we are in this together whenever we arrived at what looked just like a bunch of dead ends; for always encouraging me to be a better person; for everything. More months to come yo! Love you, babe :)

And um, if you decided to run away from me, aku sepak kau :* 

Yefafex.

#np Faithfully.

Forever remembering the lovable and awesome Cory Monteith by listening to his duet with one miss Lea Michele Sarfati. Rest in peace, big guy.

Throwback; one of our firsts.

*lari jauh-jauh*  *gelak guling-guling*

More after this, God-willing :)

Wrecked.

Wanted to do a throwback, but because of certain problems (read: attitude and also health problem) I will be doing ten facts about me, Ramadhan version.

Ready? Okay here we go.

#1  Ibu knows how much I LOVE sardine curry puff for iftar.

#2  No rice or heavy food for iftar. 

#3  Will always prefer tarawikh with family, above anything else.

#4  Always fantasizing about "sahur at Perlis and iftar at Sabah", hihi.

#5  Rice? Real dinner? After tarawikh.

#6  Too lazy to sahur? Datesssss.

#7  Air tebu. Air bunga. Nuff said.

#8  There was one period of time where my whole family eats cereal for sahur.

#9  Definitely miss Ramadhan at MRSM PDRM.

#10  The month when I can control a bit, if not all, of my temper  *wink*

Salam Ramadhan, good people! Let's be thankful we were still given the chance to meet this divine month. And use this month well by continuously doing all the good deeds :)

Human version of Snorlax.

Finally. A day for me to rest.

It had been a long week. No joke. Not exaggerating. Like, a seriously long week.

Let's start with last Sunday. No, not the just-passed-by Sunday. The camping-trip Sunday. So I hiked Dissolved Hill. Refer the last post.

On Monday, I got the HSE test and had to walk to the Multi Purpose Hall, which was located 100 miles away from Village 5.

On Tuesday, I thanked God so much as I had Engineering Drawing test at the class itself, although it was just about 70 miles from V5. The test was good, I think I could get at least 46/50 and that brightened my day up for a bit. AND I went home with the forever awesome ETS train that evening.

On Wednesday, I had to wake up at three in the morning as my brother and I had a flight to Kota Kinabalu at 6.30 am. Ayah was there for a conference or meeting for his department, national-level. Lulz whatever. And wandered around a small portion of KK on foot. On bleeping foot. Oh and I ate the first plate of rice after four weeks that night. Har har.

My underwater casing for my baby iPhone :3

Hyatt Hotel level 10.

So the people from level 3 or 4 can usha us from their balcony, it seems.

Another views from Hyatt Hotel, level 10.

Some crazy shit facts from Alis over our coffee. 

Yes. I ate the rice. For the first time. In four weeks. Sobs.

Thank God the dinner was worth it. KK's seafood ftw!

On Thursday, diving and had to endure KK's rainstorm. K, maybe I exaggerated the storm. But it wasn't a light, hi-I'm-here-only-for-a-while rain. It started raining when we were still on the Mamutik Island. Imagine us, having to get on boat, in the rain with another 10 people. So by the end of the day, Ayah, Alis and me slept kinda early after having Burger King for dinner.

MAINLAND.

Hello island! :3

Remember the orange underwater casing earlier?

Yes.

First try. Using that casing.

Say hi to my baby bro!

Is it just me or I have this sudden urge to go and pop the whatever-they-are just like we pop the bubble wrap? Blergh.

Whose instagram that still doesn't have this kind of picture? The look-at-mah-kicks kind?

*lari menyorok belakang gajah*

Spot the clownfish!

BLERGH.

Triple blergh.

I love this one. Idk why.

First dive in, what, two years? Woohooo :)

Pointed this fact to Ayah. Hebat much?

Post-diving activity: Lay on your back and stare at the the canopy.

On Friday, we headed back to KL. But not without a memorable incident, obviously. We got to fly in an Air Asia flight with a big, big, muthafuckin big QPR words plastered on it. It was a cool, awesome looking flight weh! But Alis wore MU's jersey that day, so his timing was off. Lulz. But for some unavoidable reason and problem, we had to switch airplanes. I went crying (falsely) with some annoying "Nak naik flight QPR" whimpers during the switch. Hihi.

Gila tak patriotik aku, hoho.

SEE?

Ohsem lassial.

So apparently, this is a QPR-themed airplane. I was so happy.

After two hours delay, all of the passengers on that awesome plane had to switch.

Sobs.

After ten years, it was good to see you again, Sabah.

On Saturday, I had another long day. Went to PWTC for the Malaysia International Dive Expo or MIDE. Bought this strobe to be used with Ayah's camera, during his next dive I'm sure. Went to Royale Chulan Hotel to meet Ayah's friend. Went to Nenek's for a kinda late Zohor's prayers. Went to Jusco Maluri to buy a new ceiling fan to replace the old one in the dining hall and to buy some groceries. Went back home and after unloading the groceries, went to help Ayah to pluck a whole lot of mangoes from our mango tree. Went back inside after more than half an hour later and immediately assembled and replaced the ceiling fan. Which process ended at around 9 pm.

On Sunday, the ticket mayhem. Went back to UTP and had to walk (vigorously, for the zillion times, that week, with two not-recovered-yet-from-the-hike legs) from the front gate to Village 5, which was 300 miles apart.

Yesterday. 'Almost' five hours classes straight. With headaches and yo-yo body temperature, which I suspect resulted from the dancing in the rain on Thursday. Reviewing our video for HSE, due tomorrow. Completing my part for the Recreational & Adventures I logbook and camping report. Which was done at Amy's room. Which I left just before midnight.

So today, two of my classes were cancelled. And I have a Computational Methods class from four to five, and our last R&A I class for the semester until seven pm.

So yeah. I had a long week. No joke. Not exaggerating. And I'm grateful for this unexpected, but welcomed-with-a-wide-opened-arms break. But it was an awesome seven days, no doubt.

I. Just. Need. Some. Rest. Lulz. And headaches won't leave me, even now. Gonna eat some breakfast, some Uphamol (if I have any, that is. Sigh) and probably sleep more until my class.

Until next time, bye! And have a nice day, people! :)

Shortened thinking capacity.

Assalamualaikum and good mooorning!

Had a quite long sleep last night, considering I've just got back from my Recreational and Activity class' camping Dissolved Hill fer two days yesterday. Thank you to my Danial for waking me up or I'm sure I'll sleep until, what, twelve noon?

And my class today starts at twelve :3 My girlfriends got all excited and kinda celebrated in our own Whatsapp group. Haha.

The camping session was filled with pure awesomeness. And exhaustion. I got to meet new people, to know my friends more, spending load of time together. And hey, I've learnt 4 types of knots wey! Cool.

We arrived at the base of Dissolved Hill on Saturday's evening set up the tents, went to the knot class by our R&A lecturer, had to redo the knots in front of him with my group in a private session, went to the Taiping's Zoo for the night safari.

Right after the trip around the zoo, I warned Dani to NOT to take me to the zoo with him or I'll end up shrieking and cooing and awww-ing at every other animal I see. Gosh, I even sang Elton John's Can You Feel The Love Tonight when I saw two lions which were, like, meleser, at each other. I seriously pitied my groupmates who had to see my five-year-old child side that night.

And the next day, I started with the sentry at three with Group 8 and my group. Mind you, group 8 consists of 2 girls and 3 boys of #ChemeClan and Shahira. You can imagine how crazy it was, having to regroup with my own awesome friends. So what we did during our one hour shift?

Playing cards. Until five. One hour after my shift ended. The four-to-five shift watched us play and laughed at our antics.

And the next morning, after only an hour sleep  *sigh*  , we continued our camp by hiking the Dissolved Hill, which trail started right in front of our campsite. Although there was a tarmac road leading up the hill, but where's the adventure la kan if we use that road?

Pfft.

So jungle trekking we did. I suck at estimating distance and all, but for sure it was an two-hour worth of root grabbing, stepping on slippery rocks, slipping on the nearly vertical slope and pushing myself to the limit. It's been a while since I did any vigorous physical activity, really. But doing it with my friends and fellow group 7 & 8 people, it was awesome.

So we arrived at the checkpoint after the jungle trekking and our lecturer gave us two choices, either we can just go back down to our campsite or to continue climbing the Dissolved Hill until this one point named Tea Garden. Apparently, them boys wanted to climb some more, so us girls had to follow them too. It's like a group thing, where we have to stick together ind of stuff. A decision that ruined my butt AND shortened my thinking capacity for a bit, actually. Due to the exhaustion, obviously. So we hiked another 3+ kilos, with the one we called Renjer Luthfi showing us shortcuts and all to our next destination. He even brought us past the Tea Garden and we went to this small waterfall.

I didn't have many pictures with me and I'm still in the process of collecting them all from the the awesome people (aku puji ni, baik bagi the gambar cepat!) and maybe I'll post them separately but here's one picture of us at the first checkpoint.

Never knew all six of us are actually a bunch of camwhores smh.

After that, we went down straight to the base, which was another 5++ kilos of walking down the hill and unmerciful slopes, ate our lunch and get ready for home.

Eh silap. Not home, for UTP. Sobs.

Speaking of home, I'm going back on Tuesday night! Woohoo, got to see Alis before he register himself at GMI for this A-Levels or whatever it is. Imma force him to sembang with me the whole week. It's like a cue for my annoying--overly-attached-older-sis saide. And we even get to go to the Malaysia International Dive Expo! :3 Imma request a shorties from Ayah. HAHAHAHA.

Also, for my dearest Danial, happy ten months! Looking back, that's one long way we went through, and even longer way to go. Thanks for the wonderFULL (geddit, geddit? FULL. HAHA okay lame) dinner last night. Thanks for the journey. Thanks for everything. FEKs and I love you! :)

Aaaand now I have to go and study for my Health, Safety and Environment test tonight. Happy NIOSH, EQA and DOSH dear HSE students :3 Until then, bye!

Worth it.

 

Stumbled upon this song and after a while, I knew it was something that I kinda need to hear. Soothes me, made me realize about one thing and going to be my lullaby for the night.

I've never thought I'm going to like any of his song better than I'm Yours. Gosh, I was so obsessed with that song during my third year in high school. When I got my first mp3 after PMR, it was one of the first song I transferred from the computer and one of the most listened song in my rested in peace, blue YP-U3.

I wish I still have it. My first personal, one and only mp3 player. Does anyone know where can I get the blue one? I'll pay for it if anybody can get me that, I promise. That and I'll never bug anybody, especially my mum, about getting an iPod Nano. Sigh.

Good night, sleep well people. And for you, my annoying, super crazy, but sweet and handsome and my one and only Danial, I love you, moron. Don't ever fucking forget that.

:)

Don't know who I'm kidding.

Miserable, miserable week.

I'll have to apologize for my bitching out post previously but you know, a volatile person like me can't really help it when the mind exploded.

But the past week? Was freakishly exhausting. Like really, really, REALLY exhausting, physically and mentally. With three days of not-less-than-6-hours-straight, and Computational Methods quiz (it was just a fucking quiz, dammit. Haih.), and the unexpected boredom in the much anticipated Recreational and Activity I class which I thought would as similar to those classes I had during my National Service time (minus the outdoor activities, of course), not to mention some hideous personal problems, I pretty much became a zombie by the end of Wednesday.

And I exploded on Thursday.

Another apology to my very awesome girlfriends, who had to witness my breakdown. I is sorry I brought everybody down and mentally scarred at least one of you with my unresponsiveness. That dinner was fabulous, I appreciate that.

And yesterday? Whoa. A bomb was dropped and I can't help feeling left out, AGAIN. That's twice now. Tried to be happier but I guess I'm too selfish to do that, considering the days I had to go through and the state I am after doing that. The perfect news to end a flippin' torturous week. Like the cherry on top of the perfect icing on a cake.

Dramatic much.

Another set of apology and loads "thank you"s to my bestest of friend to bother you with my, well, you know, my outbursts. Thanks for being there when I needed a friend, or generally, a fucking human being, to talk to. Really.

Should have followed his advice, but I have absolutely no guts to do that. Sorry bro. Thanks anyway.

Anyhoo, it was a while ago when I found this photo editing app from the AppsGoneFree thingy on my iPhone and I decided to download it and y'know, like, give it a try when I feel like it. The week before this destructive one, I snapped a picture of a pretty-looking view in front of my block and was tempted to edit it in the iColorama S. And turned out, it was freaking awesome cool weh.

The original one.

Edit #1 and #2.

#3 and #4.

#5.

Clickity clack for a bigger view. Showed them to a couple of my friends and Dani too. From what I could tell, most of them loveeee #4 and #5. But I was all crazy over #3 tho. The sooooooftness is soooooooo comforting although the colors seems a bit too bright. Lulz.

And by last Sunday, I used 5 of my Instax film wiwiwiwiwiwiw.

And it has been, like, what, 4 hours since I started this post. Procrastinate much? Lulz, maybe I need some distraction. Hew hew. Well, enjoy what's left of today people! And enjoy the Sunday too!

Before Monday comes and ruin your rest. Hashtag eh.

Hihi, until then, bye!