I have no idea what I'm doing here. I just have the need to write, you know? Like, the need to sit at the table, fingers ready to tap the alphabets, spelling the words one by one, and let everything flow from the mind to the screen of my laptop.
I'm currently at my home, enjoying the queen-sized bed without my sister for only two nights, and tonight is the last. Tomorrow, my daddy and I will be fetching from school. Her and my brother too. Probably we'll be going to see my another brother who's currently in Kelantan. Probably. Nothing's a concrete plan up until now.
It's one of the perks of being in my family. We are always the 'ready-to-go' type. Once, we made a super duper late minutes planning of going to Saigon. No joke. It was awesomely cool, however. I wonder if it's our family thing or just a normal thing for everybody.
The dressing table is currently free from all those idk-what-is-whose stuff that Sarah and I had been collecting since we had this table. So now, I can actually put my laptop, my Probability and Statistics notes, my two-year-old pencil case, my 7-year-old calculator on it. I can also place my toiletries, so this is so awesome. Imma hog this table and will NOT let Sarah put anything on it. Well, except her cosmetics maybe :3
Life's been good, Alhamdulillah. I'm halfway through my fourth semester, and I wasn't feeling as hopeless as I did before, thank God for that too. I'm hoping that I can still maintain this momentum until the finals, somewhere seven or six weeks more. Insya-Allah.
You know, sometimes, I feel that I better off being alone. Shying away from the sacred number of attention I've been getting, being paranoid of every help and care I got from the people around me, being the natural pessimist I naturally am, scared that I'm hurting people around be by being myself, not wanting to hurt their feelings and not surprisingly, people tells me that I'm not strong enough, not willing enough to stand for what I feel.
Funny innit? I choose my words, being the one who consider and accepts others' opinion but ended up being called "can't stand for my own self". So much for considering their feelings, eh?
I don't know how others will react to this, but people like me, don't simply forget those kinds of comment. Somehow, I'm slowly beginning to develop this weird, cold, heartless attitude. It's still pretty alien to me, but I'm beginning to open up myself more to those who are willing to be with me through thick and thin; family, friends, love, and even those sweet, friendly strangers. And at the same time, closing myself down from those types of people categorized as the so-called friends everybody knew they had. In the end, I know, I'm not better off alone, but I sure don't need those unappreciative bastards who shoot me down for fun, ignoring me when they are at their best, but will come crawling to me when their at their lowest.
And surprise, surprise! I managed to download a GBA emulator on my phone and download my faaaavorite game of all time, the Pokémon Fire Red, which surprisingly, combined and is just 16.2 MB big. You may not know, but you are currently reading a blog owned by a trainer who got a Charizard, Moltres and Articuno as part of her six Pokémon party. Just saying. However, I'm still pissed off with the fact I couldn't catch Zapdos too, or my collection of rare bird Pokémons will be complete. Haih.
Anyway, I'm sure I'll have to stop typing and stop waiting by my phone and hit the sack or I'll be a freakin zombie when Ibu will wake me up for Subuh prayers. So, good night, y'all! And until we meet again. Or until I write again, more like it. xo