The moment of truth. The last test of the semester. The night before, I got super distracted. And dear God. I hope it's all about fugacity. With given formulae. I hope for at least half of the full mark. Bismillah.

I am not joking.

Effectively killing some time in the car, listening to Survivor's Eye of the Tiger, after a stressful day. Well, you're looking at a writing of an inexperienced person who made it as a HOD for logistics department for an event next week. HAHAHAH I know. At least now, I've got the approval on its way and insya-Allah, this evening we'll get the bus.

Now I'm just calming myself down before a big Unit Operation Lab 1's oral presentation that will be at noon. Which is about in half an hour. This is so cool, I think? Yeah, five people for only five minutes. Hahah semua cakap macam kilat satgi.

I think I should make my move to block 4 right now. Urgh. Wish me luck people!

Random Yaya Pt. 3

How To Train Your Dragon 2 >>>>>>>>>> bola.  Because the cafe in V5 is showing both. Hahahahahahahah

Random Yaya Pt. 2

Post #69. Never fail to reduce me to a sobbing mess on the floor. Never. And I'm glad we visited the beach, at least once.

Random Yaya Pt. 1

Stayed in the car just to listen to Footloose on air. I'm obsessive liddat.

Hope.

Discovered this song while I was mindlessly driving, attempting to clear my head, a while back. And I fell in love with the lyrics ever since.

Well, since high school, I'm the kind of girl who listens to the words rather than to the melodies. Dedicating them for those who matters, the loved ones. The ones who deserve the uplifting messages, the love letters, the feelings I could never quite convey with my own words. That's when songs enter my life. I've never been wrong about good lyrics and this is not an exception.



I used to think that he's the persona, singing this to me; saving myself from the despairs that have been keeping me in shackles. My knight in the shining armor, if you will. I never have ever thought that he'd do the unthinkable, the opposite thing instead; a disguised, masked person. The very reason why the girl in this song existed.

I was thinking about sharing this song with him when I first listened to it, but now, I'm grateful that I didn't. One of the songs that survived the fallout and still is my favorite without any trace of previous relationship tainting it. Hahah, call me bitter or whatever. You won't say it if you realized how much my favorite things for the past two years were influenced by him. I know, it's somewhat frustrating.

Everything will get better. Everything will be better. And trust me, this song will lift you up, as if the past never existed.

Back to December?

Everybody asked me to be strong. And I'm sure that they also know I'm not capable of doing that. I may be strong, but not as nearly as strong.

They might say I'm a crazy ex. Too clingy. Overly-attached. Maybe I am. But people have always known how much I loved him. To unlove a person is a whole different matter. To unlove is another painful process and honestly, I've faced so many pain the last three weeks, that I'm surprised how I can still stand and face the world. With a smile on my face.

Well, even with puffy eyes. Hahah, that would mean a sorry to my ETP folks. You guys had been the best and yes, you guys cheered up my days and nights that we've spent together. I wished we hung out sooner, more time to watch you guys eat and getting crazy over slides and poster, hahahah. I owe you people, and I wish you guys all the happiness the world could offer.

Maybe He up there knows that he built me with a high emotional pain threshold, despite the hopeless-romantic heart. I couldn't quite hate him, but thinking again, isn't it good that hatred is not a possibility right now? God knows in front of how much people he decided to ruin my image; misleading them to believe my shyness is actually arrogance, portrayed me as the bad guy. If that's even true, I couldn't do the same for him. You don't fight fire with fire, do you? But it's definitely foolish to pick on a healed scab and hurt yourself again on purpose so you'd have a reason to insult people, while pretending to not see the scars and unhealed wounds you've inflicted on others.

There's nothing He'll give us that we couldn't handle, and even though I couldn't brush away the physical pain that manifests itself in my chest during times like these, I felt grateful that I'm still on His radar.

But to add another kind of pain? Let's just say, I've decided to go with the flow. I couldn't stay, nor I could fix and prove to him that I could change. And I can't really move on. Not just yet. But yeah. The flow is there, I just have to take a plunge and make what's the best of the ride. To be distracted is a blessing. But sometimes, I willing think of him and I couldn't be more grateful. He's like my very own Zainal Arief, but unfortunately I'm not the Kamilia Najwa in this tale.

No, not the drama. I don't think Adi Putra is even 10 meters close to how Zainal is described in my favorite novel of all time. Nope, I hate the drama. Ew.

And yes, randomity at its best. Have a blessed Friday, people! :)